Wednesday, 31 July 2013

How to Make Nigerian Chin Chin

How to Make Nigerian Chin Chin


chin chin Chin Chin is the crunchy deep-fried snack that originated from Nigeria. It is an ideal light refreshment for you and your guests. The Nigerian Chin Chin can last for weeks if stored in an airtight container.
How to Make Nigerian Chin Chin [Video]
With no baking involved in this recipe, Chin Chin is one of the easiest Nigerian snacks to make.

To make some Nigerian Chin Chin, you will need the following ingredients.

Ingredients for Soft Chin Chin

  • 1kg of Plain Flour
  • 150ml of milk / 150g of powdered milk
  • 275g of granulated sugar
  • 250g of margarine
  • 2 medium sized nutmegs | 2 teaspoonfuls of ground nutmeg
  • Vegetable Oil (for frying)

If you want the Chin Chin really crunchy, use the following quantities of ingredients

  • 1kg of Plain Flour
  • 75ml of milk / 75g of powdered milk
  • 200g of granulated sugar
  • 125g of margarine
  • 2 medium sized nutmegs | 2 teaspoonfuls of ground nutmeg
  • Vegetable Oil

Directions

  1. Mix the milk and sugar in a bowl and leave to soak.
    Note: If you are using powdered milk, mix the milk and sugar. Then add 150ml of water for soft chin chin (75ml of water for crunchy chin chin), mix and leave to soak.
    One way to get the sugar to dissolve fast is to grind it in a dry mill before mixing it with other ingredients.
  2. In a separate bowl, mix the ground nutmeg and flour, then rub the margarine into the flour till it has mixed well with the flour, leaving no lumps.
  3. Add the sugar/milk mixture to the margarine/flour mixture and mix by hand till a smooth dough is achieved.
  4. Place the dough on a flat surface and start kneading gently with a dough roller.
  5. When the dough is flat, cut into desired sizes.
  6. Deep-fry in hot vegetable oil.
  7. While frying, continuously stir the chin chin till you get a golden brown color.
  8. Scoop the fried pieces onto a flat tray to dry and cool down quickly.
  9. When the chin chin had cooled down completely, store in a dry, airtight container.

EVERYONE CONCERN

It's most meticulously degraded that the Nation We are trying to put in shape and order, is moving 'awful', especially towards our Educational Standards, qualitatively neglected.
ASUU Strike, will this be of benefit to us?... A Quest for 'R&D'.
Let's think about it. History recommends today, to predict and determine the future.
NATIONAL FUTURE PROJECT : A TARGETTED OBJECTIVES; AIMS &VISION...
...'PEARLS OF WISDOM'...
...Thus, let's help in fighting poverty by promoting 'QUALITATIVE EDUCATION', to eradicate ignorance and neglect for better purpose(s) and understanding.
*(REF: MICHO EDUTAINMENT II..)*
See More

Photo: EVERYONE CONCERN: It's most meticulously degraded that the Nation We are trying to put in shape and order, is moving 'awful', especially towards our Educational Standards, qualitatively neglected. ASUU Strike, will this be of benefit to us? A Quest for 'R&D'.  Let's think about it. History recommends today, to predict and determine the future.  NATIONAL FUTURE PROJECT : A TARGETTED OBJECTIVES; AIMS &VISION... ...'PEARLS OF WISDOM'... ...Thus, let's help in fighting poverty by promoting 'QUALITATIVE EDUCATION', to eradicate ignorance and neglect for better purpose(s) and understanding. *(REF: MICHO EDUTAINMENT II..)*

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Visa Lottery Winner, Other Arrested Over Scam Marriage - Travel

Two persons, Adetokunbo Adejayan and Juliet Adebisi, have been arrested by the police Special Fraud Unit, Ikoyi, Lagos, for pretending to be married in order to secure a United States visa.

The crime was said to have been brought to the notice of the SFU through a petition by the Assistant Regional Security Officer, United States Consulate General.

Police investigations revealed that Adejayan and Adebisi were not husband and wife as claimed.

It was discovered that the false union was arranged by one Segun and his syndicate, which specialise in teaming up US visa lottery winners with non-winners for onward “smuggling” to the US.

A statement by the SFU Public Relations Officer, Ngozi Isintume-Agu, said, “Their method is to merge a visa lottery winner with a non-winner and package both to US.

“In this case, the sum of N1.5m was paid by Adebisi and she was purportedly joined in matrimony with Adejayan, who genuinely won an American Visa lottery. Both suspects have made confessional statements that they are not legally married.”

Adeyanju, 35, who teaches in a secondary school in Mafoluku, Oshodi, was said to have won the lottery in May 2012.

His statement to the Police read in part, “It was my brother’s friend who played the lottery for me and he was the same person who called to tell me that I had won. He advised me to get a ‘wife’ before coming to the US. He then introduced me to Segun, assuring me that he (Segun) would help.

“It was Segun that brought Adebisi for the arranged marriage and subsequent interview and visa.”

Adebisi paid N1m to Segun in June 2012 to process her visa and another N500,000 for passports, medicals and training.

The Commissioner of Police in charge of SFU, Mr. Tunde Ogunsakin, said, “It was Segun who booked the appointment for the suspects at the embassy as husband and wife. The fake marriage was arranged last year.

“Investigation is ongoing and effort is on top gear to arrest Segun and his cohorts. The arrested suspects will be charged to court soon.”


Source..http://www.informationng.com/2013/07/visa-lottery-winner-other-arrested-over-scam-marriage.html

'QUALITATIVE EDUCATION'

'QUALITATIVE EDUCATION'
It shows that man studies the community's needs, the nature and properties of materials within the environment, and with these knowledge, skills, design processes and methods to satisfy the needs of the community and also to improve method of extracting the materials for the development, progress and advancement of the community (environment).
 

TECHNOLOGY:
People develop tec...hnology when they improve their knowledge, skills and procedures for making, using and doing things. Technology is developed and not necessarily 'transferred' as many people think. The developed technology we have today did not appear overnight. They went through decades or even centuries of refinement. They are products of years of hard work, dedication to duty, positive attitude towards the world of work, patience, endurance, effort and discipline.
Remarkably, life without a bearing is a burden. It is a right that makes life fruit bearing. Many people have left their future blank, they are not expecting anything, so they get there to find nothing. Every turn around begins with a 'dream' ."Dreams" constitute the baseline for breakthrough in every human endeavour.
When we were children in school, our teachers would ask us, " What do you to be when you grow up? Everyone of us said something, but very few actually believed in what they said. Those who did and kept driving towards their goals arrived at their destinations". Someone said," aim nothing, and hit nothing". It is time to have an expectation for your tomorrow. What you see, the mental picture you paint concerning your future, will set the peace for what you experience. Thus, we need wisdom and knowledge to actualize its visibilities and make it REALITIES OF LIFE: that is, THE POWER OF DREAMS; by which education is the key to 'prosperous' success, through 'sound' and solid foundation.
Government should consider this and look into the condition and standards/(levels) of our education, because it is very important for better tomorrow and brighter future of our generation to come. May looking at things generally, most people in this country are living in abject poverty. Some cannot afford one square meal daily, and how can you expect these kind of persons to 'dream' not even to think about the important and vital 'roles' Education plays in our lives to standard living, development and advancement.
Thus, it becomes a 'predicament' to our National growths and development, which encourages all sorts of crimes, corruption and violent all over the country as we witnessed; therefore, let us help in fighting poverty by promoting 'Education': To eradicate ignorance for standard understanding. This is a challenge to all sectors of life.
Government needs to provide strategies, processes and methods to tackle this issue of LACK OF EDUCATION. They should try to extend their act of goodness to people, mostly those living in the rural areas; who lack this sense of Education and the 'powerful' roles it play to stabilize the unity of the Nation; though, they lack knowledge and sense of belonging in their environment.
Government needs to 'rectify' this; it is very important by providing free education and 'scholarship' to brilliant one on 'merit' which is "solid foundation" and build more academic structures with conducive environment. No State, Nation and well beings proper effectively without aims, objectives, strategies, visions(dreams), processes and methods through solid foundation in Education at all levels and categories of understanding, not only at high levels or positions, but also at grassroots. Through proper Education and studies, one will know his or her fundamental rights to defend at all time, with 'dignity' and 'respect'. One will be aware of how to protect lives and properties through knowledge and enlightenment (i.e. "Awareness"). The importance of Education can not be overemphasized; because, "Education is key to success" and "knowledge is Power".

MAKING OUR WORLD 'FASCINATING'

MAKING OUR WORLD 'FASCINATING': @ the end of a tunnel, there's always a 'LIGHT'; FUTURE PROSPERITY (LASTING RECORDS).
Considering what's going on in Nigeria and the world @ large. Let's look on how to use 'CREATIVITY' to transform our Country for good and betterment of the future: 'POSITIVE THINKING' & EQUITY!; Pronto, via R&D IMPLEMENTATIONS, equitably!!
Photo: MAKING OUR WORLD 'FASCINATING': @ the end of a tunnel, there's always a 'LIGHT'; FUTURE PROSPERITY (LASTING RECORDS). Considering what's going on in Nigeria and the world @ large. Let's look on how to use 'CREATIVITY' to transform our Country for good and betterment of the future: 'POSITIVE THINKING' & EQUITY!; Pronto, via R&D IMPLEMENTATIONS, equitably!!
(REMARKABLE HINT): VICISSITUDES; 'Underage Marriage' in Country like Nigeria is too 'Appalling'. We are up to 'GLOBAL STANDARD FOR VISION 2020'. REFLECTION TOWARDS HUMAN RIGHTS, YOUTHS & WOMEN EMPOWERMENT IN NIGERIA. Let's think of something beneficial; more than this, for better National transformation."KNOWLEDGE IS POWER & STRENGTH: 'CREATIVITY' OPENS WAY TO NEW WORLD; UNIVERSAL 'CREATIVE', GLOBAL REFORMS".

How Do I Choose the Right Career?


Choosing a career is an involved process that is based on a number of things, including your interests, skills, work-related values, and personality. You might want to meet with a career development professional, i.e. career counselor or career development facilitator. A career development professional will use various tools to help you evaluate your interests, personality, skills, and values. This is called a self assessment. He or she will then show you how all these things, combined, play a role in choosing a career.
If finances are an issue, don't let that keep you from getting the help you need. Check with your public library since some offer career planning help. Also check with local colleges and universities. Most have career development offices which may offer services to members of the community. Programs that train career counselors often have students work with members of the community in order to gain experience. There are self assessment tools you can use for free online.
What you should end up with is a list of suitable careers based on your self assessment. Obviously you can't do everything on your list, nor will you want to. Here's where you need to do some research. You should begin to gather informationabout these careers which will include a job description, outlook for the field (will you be able to find a job), and required training and education. When you have narrowed down your choices to just a few, then you should investigate even further, perhaps conducting some informational interviews with those working in the field. You can now make an educated decision about what career to pursue.
http://careerplanning.about.com/cs/choosingacareer/f/right_career.htm\

Monday, 29 July 2013

Shocking Bird Turns To Woman In Lagos Nigeria. Lagos – Wonders they say shall never end. Things like this were only seen in movies before now, but it happened on Thursday at Afromedia street in the Okokomaikoarea of Lagos. The story behind the bird that changed in this woman is strange: From an eye-witness account, three (3) birds were flying in the area and suddenly one fell and landed into a water and to the surprise of all around, the bird changed into this woman. The further further said the bird-turned-woman was “arrested” by the police where she confessed tobe a native of Ikole, a town in Ekiti State. I wonder how the police is going to handle this case. Strange indeed!

'QUALITATIVE EDUCATION'


It shows that man studies the community's needs, the nature and properties of materials within the environment, and with these knowledge, skills, design processes and methods to satisfy the needs of the community and also to improve method of extracting the materials for the development, progress and advancement of the community (environment).
TECHNOLOGY:
People develop tec...hnology when they improve their knowledge, skills and procedures for making, using and doing things. Technology is developed and not necessarily 'transferred' as many people think. The developed technology we have today did not appear overnight. They went through decades or even centuries of refinement. They are products of years of hard work, dedication to duty, positive attitude towards the world of work, patience, endurance, effort and discipline.
Remarkably, life without a bearing is a burden. It is a right that makes life fruit bearing. Many people have left their future blank, they are not expecting anything, so they get there to find nothing. Every turn around begins with a 'dream' ."Dreams" constitute the baseline for breakthrough in every human endeavour.
When we were children in school, our teachers would ask us, " What do you to be when you grow up? Everyone of us said something, but very few actually believed in what they said. Those who did and kept driving towards their goals arrived at their destinations". Someone said," aim nothing, and hit nothing". It is time to have an expectation for your tomorrow. What you see, the mental picture you paint concerning your future, will set the peace for what you experience. Thus, we need wisdom and knowledge to actualize its visibilities and make it REALITIES OF LIFE: that is, THE POWER OF DREAMS; by which education is the key to 'prosperous' success, through 'sound' and solid foundation.
Government should consider this and look into the condition and standards/(levels) of our education, because it is very important for better tomorrow and brighter future of our generation to come. May looking at things generally, most people in this country are living in abject poverty. Some cannot afford one square meal daily, and how can you expect these kind of persons to 'dream' not even to think about the important and vital 'roles' Education plays in our lives to standard living, development and advancement.
Thus, it becomes a 'predicament' to our National growths and development, which encourages all sorts of crimes, corruption and violent all over the country as we witnessed; therefore, let us help in fighting poverty by promoting 'Education': To eradicate ignorance for standard understanding. This is a challenge to all sectors of life.
Government needs to provide strategies, processes and methods to tackle this issue of LACK OF EDUCATION. They should try to extend their act of goodness to people, mostly those living in the rural areas; who lack this sense of Education and the 'powerful' roles it play to stabilize the unity of the Nation; though, they lack knowledge and sense of belonging in their environment.
Government needs to 'rectify' this; it is very important by providing free education and 'scholarship' to brilliant one on 'merit' which is "solid foundation" and build more academic structures with conducive environment. No State, Nation and well beings proper effectively without aims, objectives, strategies, visions(dreams), processes and methods through solid foundation in Education at all levels and categories of understanding, not only at high levels or positions, but also at grassroots. Through proper Education and studies, one will know his or her fundamental rights to defend at all time, with 'dignity' and 'respect'. One will be aware of how to protect lives and properties through knowledge and enlightenment (i.e. "Awareness"). The importance of Education can not be overemphasized; because, "Education is key to success" and "knowledge is Power".

How to stay free from debt stress

Knowing how to stay free of debt stress will not solve your debt problem but it can decrease the risk of serious physical and mental illness. Any type of stress is bad news when it comes to health as worrying about debt can lead to a number of serious health issues.
Debt stress and health
People who are in serious debt can add to their problems simply by worrying too much. The debt stress/ill health connection has been well documented and it doesn’t just amount to a few nights without sleep. Debt stress has been known to lead to serious health problems ranging from migraines, ulcers, and depression, to severe anxiety attacks. The worst case scenario is that the stress can lead to cardiac problems and ultimately to heart attacks.
High stress levels from debt
Medical reports have shown that people who experience high stress levels due to debt are more prone to health problems. These health problems can be physical, mental or both. People who suffer from stress will usually have trouble sleeping and be more prone to bouts of bad temper. The knock-on effects of this stress will include absenteeism from work and seeking relief in alcohol or other addictive substances. Worrying about debt will not solve the debt problem but only increase the risk of serious illness.
Avoiding debt stress
A great many people who find themselves in uncontrollable debt have a tendency to simply bury their heads in the sand. This is not the way to avoid the problem; it is simply putting off the inevitable and will lead to greater amounts of stress. Debt problems should be confronted as soon as the problem looks serious and there are a great number of agencies that will be able to offer advice and assistance. If you are having problems coping with debt, then talking to the lender should be the first port of call. Lenders should be able to reduce payments or offer longer repayment terms as an alternative.
The main priority
The main priority when it comes to debt problems is to reduce the payments. If you simply let payments mount up then the interest will also mount up. The next step for lenders will be read letters and phone calls to the debtor. This is when stress comes into play. The debtor will avoid phone calls and avoid opening letters. Inevitably the debt will be passed on to a debt collection agency. Talking to lenders should prove to be positive when it comes to reducing payments; it will also immediately reduce your own stress levels.
Understanding stress
•Debt stress is no different from any other type of stress, the only difference is the cause of the stress. There are certain ways to counteract the stress and these can include:
•Decrease stress inducers such as caffeine or fizzy drinks
•Smoking will not reduce stress but stress can lead to increased smoking, so avoid this if possible
•Maintain a healthy diet including vitamin B rich foods such as tuna, eggs and whole-wheat foods
•Exercising each day is a good stress reducer
•Take breaks to reduce stress and do an activity that brings pleasure
•Talk to other people about your problems, do not isolate yourself
•Think positively; this situation will not last forever
Talking will help
As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved and when it comes to debt you are not alone. A huge number of people have found themselves in uncontrollable debt situations at one time or another throughout their lives. Debt is one of the most common problems and also one of the most stressful for a great many people. Talking to people will help alleviate some of the stress. Simply talking to someone will reduce stress levels and bring real solutions to the problem.
Source: goingdebtfree.co.uk

Friday, 26 July 2013

Valuable Hint

VICISSITUDES; 'Underage Marriage' in Country like Nigeria is too 'Appalling'. We are up to 'GLOBAL STANDARD FOR VISION 2020'. REFLECTION TOWARDS HUMAN RIGHTS, YOUTHS & WOMEN EMPOWERMENT IN NIGERIA. Let's think of something beneficial; more than this, for better National transformation. "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER & STRENGTH: 'CREATIVITY' OPENS WAY TO NEW WORLD; UNIVERSAL 'CREATIVE', GLOBAL REFORMS

UNIVERSAL LAWS OF SUCCESS

  • THE LAW OF VALUES
    You always act in a manner consistent with your innermost values and convictions.
    What you say and do, the choices you make-especially under stress-are an exact expression of what you truly value, regardless of what you say.

  • THE LAW OF CONCENTRATION
    Whatever you dwell upon grows and expands in your life.
    Whatever you concentrate upon and think about repe...atedly increases in your world.
    Therefore, you must focus your thinking on the things you really want in your life.

  • THE LAW OF CHANGE
    Change is inevitable. Because it is drive by expanding knowledge and technology, it is accelerating at a speed never seen before.
    Your job is to be master of change rather than a victim of change.

  • THE LAW OF PREPARATION
    Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Perfect performance comes from painstaking preparation, often for weeks, months and years in advance.
    The most successful people in every area invariably spend far more time in preparation than the least successful.

  • THE LAW OF FORCED EFFICIENCY
    There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important things.
    The more you take on, the more efficient you become. You only learn how much you can actually do by trying to do too much.

  • THE LAW OF DECISION
    Decisiveness is a vital quality of all successful people.
    Every great leap forward in your life comes after you have made a clear decision of some kind.

  • THE LAW OF FLEXIBILITY
    Be clear about your goals; be flexible about the process of achieving them.
    Flexibility and adaptability are the core qualities for success in an age of rapid change, competition, and obsolescence.

  • THE LAW OF PERSISTENCE
    Your ability to persist in the face of adversities, setbacks and disappointment is your measure of belief in yourself.
    Persistence is the iron quality of success; if you persist long enough you must eventually succeed.
    THE LAW OF INTEGRITTY
    Happiness and high performance come to you when you choose to live your life consistent with your highest values and your deepest convictions.
    Always be true to the best that is within you.

  • THE LAW OF EMOTION
    You are 100 percent emotional in everything you think, feel and decide. You decide emotionally and justify logically.
    Since you control your thoughts, you are as happy as you make up your mind to be.

  • THE LAW OF ATTENTION
    You pay attention to that which you most love and value. Attentive listening to other lets them know that you love them and build trust, the foundation of a loving relationship.
    COHEN'S LAW
    Everything is negotiable.
    Every price or term, whether buying or selling, is a best-guess by someone as to what the market will bear. Always ask for a better price.

  • THE LAW OF PURPOSE
    Definitiveness of purpose is the starting point of all wealth. To become wealthy, you must decide exactly what you want, write it down and then make a plan for its accomplishment. All successful people "think on paper".

  • THE LAW OF ENRICHMENT
    All lasting wealth comes from enriching others in some way. The more you can train yourself to contribute value to the lives of others, the more you will earn and the more certain it is that you will become wealthy.
    THE LAW OF BOOTSTRAPPING
    The best and surest way to build a business is to start with little or nothing, and then to grow step-by-step out of your profits
    Those who start with too little money are more likely to succeed than those who start with too much. Energy and Imagination are the Springboards to wealth creation.

  • THE LAW OF INNOVATION
    One good idea is all you need to start a fortune. Business breakthroughs come from finding faster, cheaper, better, easier ways to perform a task.
    THE LAW OF EXCELLENCE
    The market only pay excellent rewards for excellent performance, excellent products or excellent service.
    Identifying and developing your "area of excellence" is the first job of management.
    THE LAW OF OPPORTUNITY
    Your greatest possibilities will often come from the most common situations around you.
    Your biggest opportunity probably lies under your own feet, in your current job, industry, education, experience or interests.

  • THE LAW OF INTEGRATIVE COMPLEXITY
    The person with the widest variety of knowledge and skill in any area will have the most luck in that area.
    Expanded knowledge and skill intensify awareness and expand opportunity.
    THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION
    Incorrect assumptions lie at the root of every failure. Have the courage to test your assumptions.
    The willingness to accept the possibility that you could be wrong will open you to possibilities and lucky breaks you might otherwise miss.

  • THE LAW OF TIMING
    Timing is everything. With proper preparation, the right time will come for you.
    "There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune-'William Shakespeare'

  • THE LAW OF ENERGY
    The greater the energy and enthusiasm you have, the more likely it is that you will recognize and respond to luck.
    Your best ideas and most profound insights come after a period of rest and relaxation.
    THE LAW OF PRACTICE
    Practice is the price of mastery. Whatever you practice over and over again becomes a new habit of thought and performance.
    Growth and fulfillment come from abandoning old practices and embracing new ones.

  • THE LAW OF ACCUMULATION
    A great life is an accumulation of thousands of efforts and sacrifices unseen by others.
    "Those heights by great men won and kept, Were not achieved by sudden flight. But they, while their Companions slept Were toiling upward in the night".

  • THE LAW OF SELF-DEVELOPMENT
    You can learn anything you need to learn to achieve virtually any goal that you can set for yourself .
    Those who learn, can.

  • THE LAW OF TALENTS
    You contain within yourself a unique combination of talents and abilities which, properly identified and applied, will enable you to achieve virtually any goal you can set for yourself. What parts of your work do you enjoy the most, and are you the best at? This is your best indicator of your true talents.

  • THE LAW OF EXCELLENCE
    Success and happiness are only possible when you become absolutely excellent at doing something you enjoy. " The quality of your life will be determined by your commitment to excellence more than by any other factor".- Vince Lombardi

  • THE LAW OF OPPORTUNITY
    Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct. Within every setback or obstacle lies seeds of an equal or greater benefit or opportunity.
    Turn your stumbling block into stepping stone to success.
    THE LAW OF COURAGE
    The systematic, deliberate development of courage is essential to the achievement of success. Fear is the greatest single obstacle to achievement.
    Make a habit of always confronting the things you fear and doing them anyway.

  • THE LAW OF AFFIRMATION
    Fully 95 percent of your thinking and feeling is determine by the way you talk to yourself. Your inner dialogue is accepted as commands by your subconscious mind.
    Talk to yourself positively and constructively all the time, even when you don't feel like it.

  • THE LAW OF DIFFERENTIATION
    Every product or service must be different and better in some unique way to succeed in a competitive marketplace.
    Your competitive advantage must be perceivable, promote and something the market will pay for.
    (BY BRIAN TRACY)
    "SENSE'; Is the sensibility to sensitize what worth's sensible, finally"!
    "Man's Initiatives Can (Really) Handle Odds"!!

The Romantic Love Test:



How Do We Know If We Are in Love?



THREE OTHER FORMS OF LOVE
OFTEN CONFUSED WITH ROMANTIC LOVE

1. SEXUAL ATTRACTION
    Human sexuality has been active for about 100,000 years,
ever since the human race began to speak.
Before that, presumably, our ancestors' sexual experiences
were more akin to the sexuality of animals.

    We respond to other persons sexually
when they trigger our imprinted sex-scripts.
These sex-scripts are stories, scenarios, and fantasies
that were imprinted into our minds at an early age.
We did not choose the nature of our sexual responses.
And that is why sex sometimes
seems to surprise us or even overwhelm us.
Depending on the exact nature of our sexual imprinting,
we may respond to certain bodily types
—or perhaps we respond to certain parts of a body.
We can discover our sexual imprintingby noting what 'turns us on'.


2. MATE-SELECTION & MARRIAGE
    People have been selecting each other as mates
since before the beginning of recorded history.
Thus some form of marriage has been around for several thousand years.

    If we have been looking for a man or woman with whom to spend our lives,
we have imagined an ideal Mr. Right or Ms. Right.
If someone corresponds with this internal Dream Lover,
we might easily 'fall in love' with him or her.
And we might be sexually attracted to him or her.
But the marriage decision itself is more rational and organized
than either romantic loveor sexual response.
We can easily 'fall in love' and 'get turned on'
by men or women whom we would never consider marrying.
Looking for a life-partner involves compatibilities
of personalities and purposes, which do not always correspond
with our romantic and sexual responses.
Marriage is a more practical affair.
We need to know whether the potential spouse
has any bad habits that would make it difficult to live with him or her.

    If we have decided that we are going to spend
most of our adult lives married to one man or one woman,
we have built up some clear ideas
about what kind of man or woman that should be.
We see such men or women married to others.
And we hope that we will be able to find such a person for ourselves.

    The desire to get married is relatively easy to explain.
It is the result of explicit instruction and example:
We learn how people ought to behave when they grow up:
We are supposed to find a good person to marry.
Marriage is a social phenomenon we can all understand.
But marriage itself sometimes gets confused with
sexual responses and/or 'falling in love'.

    In the minds of many of us, the ideal mate would be someone
who 'turns us on' sexually, who would be a good parent,
and about whom we could feel romantic.
How often do all of these features arrive in the same person?
The rational person may select for a spouse the one he or she can live with,
even if their sex-life and their romantic feelings
are not as intense as with other people, some of whom,
of course, would not make good spouses.


3. FAMILIARITY

    Familiarity has been a part of human experience
from the beginning of our race some 7 million years ago,
when we branched off from the other large apes.
Familiarity is a feeling we share with all animals that live in groups.

    If we have lived with someone in the same household
for a few years, feelings develop that arise only from that specific relationship.
These are similar to the feelings that develop in loving families.
When the siblings get along well, they like to be together.
They do things together because they enjoy being in one another's company.
Married or living-together couples develop familiarity with each other.
And if their regular interactions make them both happy,
they will want to continue to be together.

    Good marriages and good long-lasting relationships
can have a sense of a loving togetherness
not based on the fantasy of romantic love,
not based on the imprinted sex-scripts they had before they met,
not based on their pre-existing ideas of who would be a good spouse.
Being comfortable together is based in reality.
From their past experience of being with each other,
the partners know they like each other.
The fantasy of romance may be gone.
The triggering of their sex-scripts may have been replaced
by a special kind of sexuality that they could not have predicted
before it actually happened between them.
And whatever prior expectations they had for a marriage partner
has been replaced by real information about this particular person.

    One important part of familiarity is raising children together.
Two people who have shared the trials and rewards of parenthood
may develop feelings for each other
that will never be repeated in any other relationship of their lives.


AND NOW FOR ROMANCE

    Romantic love is the most recent addition
to these other feelings with which it is often confused.
Romantic fantasies were invented about 800 years ago in Medieval Europe.
Since then these delusions have spread over the whole world.
Almost everywhere, people 'fall in love'.
And they regard it as a natural response,
perhaps in part because they confuse it with
(1) sex, (2) mate-selection, and (3) familiarity.
The Romantic Love Test is intended to highlight our romantic feelings,
as defined in the 26 section-headings within the test.





How Do We Know If We Are In Love ?




A. Romantic love arises from pre-existing yearnings.

1. Before I 'fell in love', did I feel within myself
    a mysterious urge to find someone to love,
    an emptiness or longing to connect with someone?

2. Before I met the one I now love, did I feel lonely?
    Did loneliness cause me to 'fall in love'?
    Did I sometimes feel an emotional hunger, an emptiness
    in my heart, which I wanted to fill with another person?

3. Did I enter the 'love-market' with strong expectations
     of what love was supposed to feel like?

4. Did my present love begin shortly after the end of a previous love?
    Did I 'fall in love' on the 'rebound'?
    When one love ended, did I just begin loving the next
    available person who did not have too many negative qualities?

5. Did I simply tell myself that I was ready to 'fall in love'?


B. Romantic love begins suddenly, creating instant intimacy.

6. Did I 'fall in love' with _____ when I first met him/her?

7. Do I experience love as an emotion happening to me?
    Is 'falling in love' a passive experience
like falling asleep?

8. Is love a deep response arising from my soul?

9. Did I just let myself fall madly, passionately, gloriously in love?

10. Have we experienced instant intimacy,
       the feeling that we know each other immediately?

11. Have we been soul-mates from the beginning of the world?

12. Do we have a sudden feeling of agreement about everything?


C. Romantic love is blind.

13. Was I temporarily blinded by an intense flash of love
       so I could no longer see who the other person was?

14. Do I prefer not to know everything about the one I love?
       Am I afraid to know more about _____
       because the facts might undercut my feelings?

15. Is _____ the most wonderful person I have ever met?


D. Romantic love is often one-sided; it loves from afar.

16. Do I have obsessive day-dreams about a distant love-object?
       Do I imagine how it would be for some distant person
       to notice me
and 'fall in love' with me?
       Have I worked out a whole story of how I might meet
       my love-object and begin a long life together?

17. Have I ever been 'in love' with a celebrity?
       For instance, have I sent love letters to famous people,
       hoping they would miraculously respond to me?

18. Do I gloss over the fact that thousands of other people
       are also 'in love' with the same person?
       Does being in a crowd of people all 'worshiping' the same person
       make me feel even more 'in love' with him/her?

19. If there is no real relationship, if we have never even talked,
       does the image of my love-object keep appearing in my mind
      
unbidden, sometimes unwelcome
       because it prevents me from getting on with my life?

20. Have I sometimes wanted someone to love me
       even tho I did not want to love him/her?


E. Romantic love watches for small signs of reciprocation.

21. Do I examine carefully the behavior of the one I love
       for signs that he/she really cares about me?
       Do I manufacture signs of love from almost nothing?

22. When I am ignored or rejected by my love-object,
       do I look for subtle signs of love even in the discouragement?

23. Do I interpret anyresponse
       as a sign that he/she really notices and cares about me?
       Do I sometimes keep a 'love' going for a long time,
       sustained by mere crumbs of hope?  
 
24. Do I sometimes spend hourspining for my secret love?

25. Do I become more obsessive, the less response I get?


F. Romantic love is often uncertain and fearful of rejection;
     it is exclusive, possessive, and jealous.


26. Do I worry about the depth of my beloved’s feelings for me?

27. Do I wonder if I love him/her more than he/she loves me?

28. Do I often ask "Do you love me?"
perhaps phrasing it some other way?
       When my beloved tells me that he/she loves me,
       do I wonder what that means?
       Do I want something more than mere words
       to convince me that my beloved really loves me?

29. Do I create little tests of my beloved's emotional involvement?
       Do I worry that my beloved does not care enough about me?
       Do I watch for signs that my beloved
       is 'falling out of love' with me?

30. Does the intensityof his/her emotional response
       seem more important than the day-to-day activities we share?
       Even in the midst of an enjoyable activity together,
       do I sometimes wonder about the emotional commitment of my beloved?

31. Do I sometimes resist phoning the one I love
       because I want him/her to care enough about me to take the initiative?

32. Do I keep track of how often he/she spontaneously says "I love you",
       without first hearing that I love him/her?

33. When preparing to get together with the one I love,
       do I worry that I will look wrong or say something foolish?
       Do I worry that something about me will 'turn him/her off'?

34. Do I spend considerable time rehearsing an encounter
       to make sure everything will be just right?

35. Does my fear of rejection cause me to distort myself
       in order to be a better match for the one I want to love?

36. Can I love only one person at a time?
       When I 'fall in love' with someone new,
       nothing further need be said about my old relationship
      
it is automatically over.

37. Love means that we belong to each other;
       that's why I will feel jealous if a rival tries to steal my beloved.


G. Romantic love is a fantasy-trip,
     a prefabricated emotion projected onto others.


38. Do I censor myself, concealing the things _____ will not like,
       in order to seem more compatible?

39. Do I sometimes try to create feelings of love?
       Do I want to believe that my feelings are "true love"?

40. Do I sometimes confuse being in love with pretending to be in love?

41. Does 'falling in love' transport me to a dream world?

42. Am I enchanted by _____'s appearance?

43. When I think of us together, does it sometimes seem like a fairy tale?
       Am I clinging to an illusion, something that was never really there?

44. Do we sometimes remain silent
       because speaking might break the spell of love?

45. Does love seem like a stage play already in progress:
       We slip into our costumes and begin to enact our ready-made roles?

46. Do my friends sometimes wonder what I see in _____?

47. Are my feelings based more on fantasies than facts?

48. Is my love a wander-lust, always pursuing new fantasies?

49. When I reach out for love, does it sometimes disappear like a mirage?


H. Romance creates an illusion of oneness.

50. Have I found the lost half of my being?
       Do we merge with each other?

51. Can I see directly into _____'s soul?
       Is communication no longer necessary
       because we have become one person?

52. Do we cling to each other for security?


I. Romantic love depends on imagination.

53. Before I 'fell in love', did I have a Dream Lover in mind?

54. Did _____ seem to be the fulfillment of my dreams?

55. Did I have elaborate love-feelings before I found a target for them?

56. Do I sometimes dwell in a self-contained dream-world of love?

57. Is my Dream Lover mostly a projection of my imagination?

58. Might my handsome prince/princess turn back into a frog?

59. Does romantic love sometimes seem to be an artificial feeling?

60. Do I feel we will have a perfect future together?


J. Romance is being in love with love
    —attempting to actualize a feeling learned from others.

61. Do I like the emotion of being in love?

62. Do I feel tunedlike a harp,
       ready for my Dream Lover to play songs of love?

63. Do I feel setlike a mouse-trap, ready for "my intended" to come along?

64. When I imagine 'falling in love', do I get a warm glow?

65. Am I enjoying primarily my own internal feelings of love?

66. Is 'falling in love' an enjoyable emotional game?


K. Romantic love sometimes depends on manipulation.

67. Do I sometimes wonder what I should do
       to make my beloved 'fall in love' with me?
       Do I strategize various things I could do or say
       to bring about the response I want from my beloved?

68. Have I sometimes played 'hard to get'
       in order to intensify the feelings of my beloved?

69. Do I sometimes refuse to return phone calls
       in order to make my beloved more desperate to please me?

70. Have I sometimes used my sex-appeal
       to get someone to 'fall in love' with me?

71. Do I sometimes play games
       such as pretending to draw back from the relationship
       or trying to stimulate jealousy in my beloved
       in order to intensify his/her feelings for me?


L. Romantic love is like watching a movie.

72. Do I feel I am re-enacting a movie I once saw?
       Am I sometimes trying to re-create a story
       I saw on TV or read in a novel?

73. Am I the stage-manager of my drama of passion and suffering?

74. Do I enjoy allowing myself to fall gloriously in love
       the way it happens in the movies?

75. Am I trying to reproduce a feeling of love that others have had?

76. Do I sometimes filter out negative facts
       to make my love-scene closer to what I imagined beforehand?

77. Does my relationship with _____ sometimes resemble a soap opera?
       Do I sometimes feel that I am pulled along
       by a simple-minded script I cannot escape?

78. Have romantic songs and movies prepared me
       for an ecstatic romantic release?


M. Romantic love is an ecstatic feeling.

79. Does love seem to dominate my whole heart?

80. Am I euphoric whenever I am with _____?

81. Does the thought of _____
       make my heart beat faster or even skip a beat?

82. Does it take my breath away?

83. Do I seem to meltwhen I am in the arms of _____?

84. Do I feel light-headed when we embrace?

85. Do I want to maintain my emotional 'high' as long as possible?

86. Is being assured of love the best emotional fulfillment?

87. Do I sometimes float away in the rapture of love?
       Does love lift me into the clouds?
       Do I seem to be walking on air?

88. Does being in love make me ecstatic?
       Am I a little delirious when I am in love?

89. Does being in love lift me out of humdrum reality?

90. Does love make me feel temporarily insane?
       Do I feel deranged, irrational, irresponsible, slightly crazy?

91. Am I transported to another level of reality when I am with _____?

92. Does something special, even magical, happen when we are together?

93. Do I accept the suffering of love
       because I enjoy the ecstatic feelings so much?

94. Does love raise my emotional level from depression to ecstasy?

95. Is being in love the happiest experience of my life?
       Does it feel so good to be in love that I want to return to love
       (or remain in love) for the rest of my life?

96. Was the peak of my passion just before the open declaration of love?


N. Romantic love is an altered state of consciousness.

97. Does my mind seem to be in a whirl?

98. Does the intensity of my emotion sometimes surprise me?

99. Is the power of my feeling sometimes exhausting?

100. Does being in love feel like intoxication?

101. Does the whole world reflect my emotional state?

102. Does love raise me to new levels of suffering and joy?

103. Am I more concerned with how I feel at the moment
         than about the long-range future?


O. Romantic love sees the beloved as perfect.

104. Do the wonderful things about the one I love
         seem even more wonderful under the influence of romance?

105. Do I sometimes almost worship the one I love?

106. Do I overlook his/her faults or interpret them as charming?
         Do I sometimes transform the negative dimensions
         of my beloved into positive attributes?

107. Do traits that would normally 'turn me off' in other people
         become more attractive in the one I love?

108. Will I later say that I was suffering "selective perception"?
         Did I see my beloved thru rose-colored glasses?


P. Romantic love causes violent mood-swings.


109. Am I subject to abrupt changes of emotion
        
from elation to despairdepending on the response of my beloved?

110. Do my feelings for _____ seem like a roller-coaster ride
        
momentary weightlessness at the peak of feeling,
         followed by crushing pressure at the bottom of the slide?

111. Was the highest point in our relationship the declaration of love
        
perhaps symbolized in the marriage ceremony?

112. Do little misunderstandings between us cast me into despair
        
because I think he/she no longer loves me?

113. Is my emotional condition completely dependent
         on the response of my beloved?
         Can I be as high as a kite or a low as a mole
        
depending on the responses I get from my beloved?

114. Does my beloved control my level of feeling far more strongly
         than I can understand rationally?


Q. Romantic love causes preoccupation and distraction.

115. Am I always thinking about _____?
         Does the image of _____ pursue me everywhere?

116. Do I want to be with _____ every moment
<>day and night?
         Would I like to spend the rest of my life
         linked with _____ like Siamese twins?

117. Does being in love prevent me from concentrating on my normal activities?

118. Do I have trouble sleeping or eating because I am in love?

119. Do I enjoy being in love because it drowns my cares?


R. Romantic love causes intrusive thinking.

120. Does a movie keep repeating in my head with minor variations?

121. Do these compulsive thoughts keep coming back
         even tho I try to dismiss them and get on with my life?
         Does my mind seems to have "a mind of its own"
        
so that love-fantasies take overlike the wrong radio station
         breaking into the program I was enjoying?
         When I am involved doing other things,
         do thoughts of my beloved come crowding into my mind?

122. Does his/her image come to the surface without being invited?

123. Does my mind lockon the image of my beloved?

124. Is my beloved always on my mind?
         Do I spend more than half of my free time thinking about my beloved?


S. Romantic love causes compulsive, neurotic,
    dependent thoughts and feelings.


125. Do I brood every day about my relationship
         and the level of my beloved's feelings for me?

126. Do I wonder about what will happen next in our relationship?
         Do I run various scenarios thru my head
        
with small variationsuntil I have a story that pleases me?

127. Do I find that every thought relates back to my beloved?
         Do I process all of the events of my life
         in terms of how I will share them with my beloved?
         For example, when I read a book or see a movie,
         am I preparing in my head how I will discuss it with my beloved?

128. Have I lost a sense of being a separate person,
         with private thoughts and feelings?

129. Have I spend hoursgoing over a simple encounter,
         attempting to make it mean something that it does not obviously mean?
         For example, do I sift and re-sift the fragments of a conversation
         for evidence of what my obsessive minds wants to find
        
either proofs of love or proofs of infidelity?

130. Do I sit by the phone, hoping he/she will call?

131. If my beloved forgets to call,
         does this mean that I am not always on his/her mind?

132. Do I think of him/her all the time,
         whereas he/she easily puts me out of mind?
         Am I more involved in this relationship than he/she is?


T. Romantic love is an overwhelming experience.

133. Do I feel gripped by a cosmic emotional force,
         overwhelmed by a power larger than myself?

134. Do I feel out of control, swept away, by love?

135. Does 'falling in love' feel like opening the flood-gate
         to release the water behind the dam?

136. Is my mind totally consumed by my fiery passion?

137. Does love feel like a magnetic force drawing us together?

138. Was 'falling in love' easy and automatic?

139. Does my romantic response arise from deep within myself?

140. Do we create an emotional feedback-loop between us,
         each reinforcing the romantic response of the other?

141. Do I sometimes resist the overwhelming feeling of 'falling in love'?

142. Am I swept along by a surging power I could never control?
         Is love like riding the crest of an ocean wave?

143. Do my emotional responses
         feel like a computer program running irresistibly thru my self?


U. Romantic love is the most important thing in life.

144. Has love finally given me something to live for?

145. Is being in love one of the highest goals of my life?

146. Has love replaced other activities that used to be important?

147. Has my passion become so strong
         that all previous concerns have fallen by the wayside?
         When I am in love nothing else matters.

148. Am I willing to make more sacrifices for love than for anything else?

149. Is the emotional fulfillment of being in love
         more important than sexual fulfillment?
         Is hearing a deep and convincing declaration of love
        
having my romantic feelings reciprocated
         more fulfilling than an orgasm? 
         Do I want to hear "I love you!"
         more than "I want to have sex with you!"?


V. Romantic love includes suffering.

150. Does my emotional attachment to _____
         cause me to overlook conflicts, unhappiness, and even abuse?

151. Are my feelings of love chaotic and stressful?

152. Am I desperately unhappy when we must be apart?

153. Would I be devastated by the loss of this love?
         If my beloved left me for another, would I want to kill myself?

154. Have I ever considered suicide because love went wrong?
         Have I wanted to kill myself because my love was not returned?

155. Have I wanted to die because the one person who mattered abandoned me?
         Have I considered suicide because my only reason for living was gone?

156. Have I sometimes threatened to kill someone else
         if I did not get my romantic dream?

157. Can I empathize with the feeling:
         "If I can't have him/her, no one else will either!"?
         or "If you won't live with me, you won't live with anyone!"?
         Can I imagine killing the one I used to love because he/she abandoned me?


W. Near its end, romantic love clings to any shred of hope.

158. Do I keep coming back even tho we have terrible fights
         because once that part is over, we love each other even more intensely?

159. Do I interpret ill-treatment (physical or mental abuse) as signs of 'love'?

160. Am I attached to _____ in a way that I do not understand?

161. When I fear that I am about to be replaced,
         do I cling even more strongly to the one I love?

162. Does competition from rivals intensify my feelings of love?

163. When I feel love slipping away, does my heart ache?
         When I believe that he/she has 'fallen for' someone else,
         do I feel sick?
         Do I get other psycho-somatic reactions
         whenever I get some sign that our love might be over?

164. At the end of a relationship, do I cling to the smallest gleam of hope?


X. Romantic Love is temporary
lasting 18 months to 3 years.

165. Did we both 'relax' once the commitment had been made,
         perhaps in the form of marriage or a promise of marriage?

166. When the magic and mystery have gone out of a relationship,
         do I begin to think I should be moving on?

167. Do my love affairs last about two years or less?

168. When I have 'fallen outof love',
         does it seem that scales have fallen from my eyes,
         so that I can see the one I used to love as he/she really is?


Y. When romantic love is over, it sometimes becomes hatred.

169. After a romantic affair is over, do I find it impossible to be "just friends"?

170. Once my passion for _____ has passed,
         do I feel an irrational urge to inflict pain, hurt, and harm on him/her?

171. Near the end of a romantic involvement,
         do my feelings oscillate between irrational love and irrational hate?

172. After love is gone, is my emotional orientation reversed:
         Do I then exaggerate every fault I can think of?
         Does it seem that nothing about a former lover is good?
         Am I somewhat disgusted by the one once 'loved'?

173. Could my passionate love turn into profound hatred?


Z. Romantic love resists analysis.

174. Do I believe that 'falling in love' is a natural phenomenon?

175. Do I reject any suggestion that romantic love is an invention of culture?

176. Does love seem self-validating
when it has happened I know it?

177. Is love mystical and mysterious
        
something that should not be analyzed?

178. When I question whether I am really in love,
         do my doubts threaten my emotional well-being?

179. Do I fear thinking too deeply about love
         because questioning any part of the myth
         might cause the whole house of cards to collapse?

180. Do I want to be 'in love' even if it is an illusion?      


Scoring:

More than 150 yes   
You are in romantic love.
100-149                       
You are only half love-sick.
50-99                            
You are recovering from being 'in love'
                                       or you were immune to this disease.
less than 50                
You are emerging from the illusion
                                       (or you were never deluded by romance).
                                       And you may be ready for loving beyond romantic illusions.

Conclusion

     Romantic love can be an enjoyable and harmless emotional game
as long as we do not attempt to construct our lives around it.
When we look deeply into the causes of romantic love,
we see that it is a complex, conventional set of feelings
implanted in us by popular culture.
This emotional response is private and self-contained,
sometimes stimulated by another person or an image of our Dream Lover.

     But instead of 'falling in love',
we can create unique, singular relationships
reality-based interactions, free, loving commitments,
based on knowledge, respect, and mutuality.




stanevergreen.blogspot.com


    

Monday, 22 July 2013


THE LAW OF CREATIVITY.

whatever your mind can coincieve
and believe is archieved.
 Every advance in life begines with an idea of
some kind. And since your ability to generate
idea is unlimited your future can be unlimited also

THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT

Everything happens for a reason and for every cause there is an effect,
 and for every effect it is something you can know or may not know...
Think continually  about the things you really want and refuse to think about
what you do not want.
SOLUTION TENDER

THININGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

Questions and Answers - Habakkuk 1 - 3
Q. When was the Book of Habakkuk written? A. 607 B.C.
Q. Who were Habakkuk's contemporaries? A. Zephaniah, Nahum, Daniel, Ezekiel and Jeremiah.
Q. How did Habakkuk receive his prophecies from God? A. Habakkuk 1:1 = In a vision.
Q. How did the Babylonians come to power? A. Habakkuk 1:6 = God raised them up.
Q. What was Babylonia's sin? A. Habakkuk 1:11 = Their own strength was their god.
Q. Did God find that offensive? A. Habakkuk 1:11 = Yes. He pronounced them "deeply guilty."
Note: When we don't trust God openly, whatever we do trust (everybody trusts something or someone) is our false god. Be it money, employer, our life savings, our friends, God knows where our loyalty lies. Yield to God every aspect of your life and you will prove your loyalty to Him, the one true God.
Q. What was Habakkuk's complaint? A. Habakkuk 1:13 = How could God punish His people using such vile tyrants?
Q. Who was this message of Habakkuk for? A. Babylonia (Iraq).
Q. Will all the world ever become aware of God? A. Habakkuk 2:14 = Yes. "The time will come when all the earth will be filled, as the waters fill the sea, with an awareness of the glory of the Lord."
Q. What other evil acts did the Babylonians commit? A. Habakkuk 2:17 = They terrified wild animals caught in their traps.
Q. What kind of attitude will the world have toward God one day? A. Habakkuk 2:20 = The earth will be silent before God, who dwells in His holy Temple.
Q. Did Habakkuk see the far future? A. Habakkuk 3:3-7 = Yes. Millennial stuff. Read it!
Q. What sets Habakkuk apart from the other books of the bible? A. Habakkuk complained to God on two occasions and each time God replied.
Note: God not only assures Habakkuk of His deliverance, but tells him of future awesome times as well.
Q. What did Habakkuk do with such overwhelming punishment, deliverance and future prophecy? A. Habakkuk 3:16 = He trembled inside and was just terrified at first.
Q. What calmed him down? A. Habakkuk 3:17-19 = Believing God's promises for protection and salvation, as told in the Scriptures.
Note: God will always watch over His people. Don't worry how terrible it might get; you are already under His wings if you know Him right now!